


I May Be Young, But I Still Know Stuff

by cheenoo321



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Childhood Friends, Elementary School, F/M, Fiction, General, High School, Introductions & Chapters, Literature, Personal Growth, Primary School, Romance, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2020-02-04 10:15:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18602482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheenoo321/pseuds/cheenoo321
Summary: Lily's first day at his new school, and he's already picked on by a bully! But when Clover comes along, things start changing.Will this (four-leafed) Clover be just the lucky charm he needs to get past his insecurities, and start a whole new life?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short story I had in my mind, about two childhood friends. This is the first time I've ever written a story, so I'm pretty nervous uploading this! Hope you enjoy!

Today is the first day of school. Not that it’s the new school year or anything, I just moved to a new school in a new city, because of my mom’s job. I’m glad I’m moving, because I really hated the last school. My classmates bullied me because I’m fat. Seriously, how immature do you have to be, to bully someone based on their weight? “Knock it off,” I wish I could say. But I can’t, because I’m too shy. Generally unconfident. Actually, I might be a total wimp. Okay, enough of the self dissing, let’s move on.

So, I’m practically running away from my old school and hoping for a new life in my new school. But now that I think about it, I’m barging in in the middle of the school year. So, wouldn’t everyone have already made their own cliques? And don’t need some fat kid intruding in their perfect friendship groups? The thought fills me with dread. Oh no, I’m not going to be able to make friends again, I’ll be all alone again, I’ll be that fat wimp for the rest of my life—

“Ahem!” the teacher coughs politely, drawing my attention. “Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?” 

That’s right, this is not the time to be standing around silently, mildly dreading my existence. I’m already standing in the middle of the classroom, about to introduce myself. I have to say something impressive, make a cool impression. This is my first step into becoming the new me! No more being the fat guy, no more being the wimp, no more being the—

“Mrs. Harrison, maybe he’s mute.”

“I’m not mute!” I quickly blurt out. Crap, I was thinking too long. Now they’ll think I’m awkward and weird, for standing silently for so long. “Hello, nice to meet you. I moved here recently because of my mom’s job. I enjoy playing video games. I… err…” On no, I don’t know what else to say. Am I supposed to say something more? How do you introduce yourself to a new class anyway? I can feel a bead of sweat forming on my forehead, trickling down to my chin. Just calm down, you can do this. It’s just a simple introduction, no need to feel nervous.

A boy behind me snickers. “He’s sweating so much,” he whispers to another boy next to him. “Probably because he’s so fat. So gross!”

Great, it’s the first day of school, and I’m already targeted. I can already foresee my future: sitting alone during lunchtime awkwardly, walking home to school alone, always being chosen last during team selections. I feel like crying, but I fight the urge down. It is so uncool to cry in front of class, on the first day of school. 

“Hey, you didn’t say your name yet. What’s your name?” asks a girl in the seat next to me. Oh no, the inevitable has come. I really didn’t want to say my name, because it’s such an embarrassing one. But I have no choice, this is a self-introduction after all, and you have to tell your name. That fact doesn’t make me any more willing though, and I squirm with discomfort. Seeing me hesitate over something so simple, the girl looks slightly puzzled, then gives me a soft, encouraging smile. It fills me with a little bit of courage, and I manage to stammer quietly, “Um, my name is Lily Greenwood.”

A brief silence, then a burst of laughter. Immediately my courage abandons me, and instead I’m filled with an uncomfortable feeling. My face burns up with heat, and I feel a few more beads of sweat sliding down my cheeks. The mean boy behind me is chortling so hard, he’s gasping for breath. I think he swallows his spit accidentally, because now he’s coughing up a fit. Serves him right. 

“That’s a girl name! Boys can’t have girl names, it’s weird!” says a girl with glasses. 

‘Well, I’m not the one who chose that name,’ I think defensively. But all I manage to say is “Erm,” as I blink stupidly.

“That’s not true, it’s not weird to have a feminine name, even if you’re a boy,” says Mrs. Harrison. “Thank you, Lily, I think that’ll do for the self-introduction. Now everyone, take out your textbooks, we’ll begin class.”

I take out my textbook, and hide my face behind it. I’m dying of embarrassment. I silently grumble at my mom and dad for giving me a girl name. Why couldn’t they just give me a normal boy name, like Rick or John, or even Bob? But no, they had to name me Lily, because that’s their favorite flower, and they met in the first place at a flower shop trying to buy them, and they thought it would suit me, and blah blah blah. 

***

It’s lunch break, and I look around the courtyard for a place to eat. All the seats are taken. Well, not strictly every single seat, but the kids are sitting on the benches in such a way that they’ll leave one empty seat between different cliques, and it’s really awkward and difficult to sit in those empty seats. I really wish someone would call me and let me sit with them, but I guess that won’t be happening after my spectacular self-introduction. I sigh, as I slowly trudge to a nearby tree. I slump down on one of its exposed tree roots, and take out my lunchbox. I take a nibble of my sandwich, when I see a shadow over me. I turn around to see the mean boy from class, glaring down at me, with two of his cronies snickering behind him. I gulp down my lunch.

“Hey fatty,” he spits out, “enjoying your lunch?”

‘Do you need something?’ I think.

“What’s the matter, can’t speak? Your face too fat to even open your mouth?”

‘I can speak perfectly fine, thank you,’ I silently retort inside myself.

“If you’re so fat, don’t you think you should try losing some weight? You were so gross today, you know, sweating so much. Every time you move, the sweat would splatter all over the place, and it was so disgusting!”

‘Why don’t you just leave me alone?’

“You know what? I’ll do you a favor. I’ll help you lose weight.” He smirks. Some of the boys cover their mouths, trying to fight down the laughter. I give him a confused look. 

“You… want to help me?”

“Of course! That’s what friends are for, right?”

I blink, even more confused. I thought he was mean, but here he is, offering to be my friend. Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he talks meanly, but he’s actually a good guy. A tiny ray of hope peaks out from the darkness. We could be friends! I wouldn’t be alone anymore! I still feel apprehension tugging at my heart, but with effort I manage to ignore it. This is my chance to finally join a social clique, and I cannot be seen as ungrateful, or suspicious. I’m about to flash him a smile, but then he says, “So, I think you should hand over that sandwich.”

“Huh?” The hope quickly recedes back into the darkness. I slowly slip my sandwich into my lunchbox.

“You don’t want to be fat, right? Then you shouldn’t be eating anything. So hand over that sandwich.”

‘No!’ I shout, but only inside my head. I’m thinking I should run away now, but my legs won’t move. 

“I said, hand it over!” the mean boy angrily shouts, and lunges at me. The other boys behind him jump at me too, grabbing at my lunchbox. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tightly hug my lunchbox, refusing to let go. But there’s too many of them, and I can’t fight against all of them prying at my arms. I want to cry again. ‘Why are they doing this to me?’ I think. ‘Why can’t they just leave me alone? I really want them to knock it off. Really, just knock it off, knock it off…’

“Hey, knock it off already!”

Whoa, did I just say that out loud? I can’t believe it! I actually said it! I actually stood up for myself!

“Knock what off? We’re not doing anything wrong, we’re just trying to help him.”

“Do you take me for stupid? Knock it off, and go away, before I tell the teacher.”

Wait, that’s not my voice. I’m not the one saying this. I peek with one eye to see a girl walking this way. She’s the girl who smiled at me.

“Ha, that won’t scare me, miss goody two shoes.” The mean boy walks intimidatingly to the girl, and looms over her. The other boys do the same, surrounding her. “Why don’t you go away, before I hurt you?”

Despite the threat, the girl shows no sign of fear. I look amazedly at her, thinking of how I would be cowering with fear, were I in her shoes. But she merely crosses her arms in front of her, and she actually seems to be looking down at the mean boy, even though she’s shorter and has to look up at him. “Try hurting me, if you dare,” she coolly says with an amused look. “Actually, do hurt me, please. Because as soon as you give me a bruise, I can use it as evidence to report you for violence, and then I could get you suspended, or even better, expelled. It would be such good riddance, you know?” She takes a step towards him. “So hurry up, and hit me already!” I see an almost hungry gleam in her eyes. I’m half thinking she could have been a berserk warrior in her past life or something. 

The mean boy must have been thinking the same thing too, because he takes a step back. “What are you, paranoid?” There’s a hint of faltering in his voice. “This is boring. Let’s go,” he says to his cronies. They lamely shuffle away, the cronies occasionally glancing back at us. 

“Well, that takes care of that,” says the girl, with a satisfied look. I see the hungry look in her eyes are gone, and let out a sigh of relief. She had me feeling tense and nervous too. But then she comes up to me and gives me a knock on the head.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“You’re such a wimp! You should learn to stand up for yourself.”

I eye her warily. Is she a bully too? 

“Anyway, are you okay? I hope your sandwich is fine.”

“Um, it’s okay. Thanks for stopping them.”

“You’re welcome. Those guys sure are mean, aren’t they? Especially Jim. I heard what he said in class. Really, he’s such a jerk!”

“No, it’s okay. It’s the truth anyway. I’m fat.”

“Well, but it was mean of him to say nasty comments like that.” She lets out a sigh. “I guess he can’t help it though. He’s still only ten years old after all. He’s still an immature child.”

“Um, we’re ten years old too.”

“Yeah physically, but we’re so much more mature mentally, right?” She flashes me a playful grin. “For example, I can appreciate your name without laughing myself silly. I mean, lilies are such pretty flowers, they're so elegant.”

“That’s true, but I think you’re thinking of the wrong lily. I’m named after the lily of the valley. They look like little white bells.”

“Wow, even better then! You have such a nice clear voice, it’s like a little bell. Your name really suits you!”

“Oh. Um. Thanks.”

I blush furiously. I’ve never been complimented a lot, much less for my voice. Mostly because I don’t talk much, so nobody really hears it. The girl is still smiling at me. I’m amazed at how easy going and bright she can be, when she was in berserk mode just a minute ago. Then I realize I don’t even know her name. 

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“Oh, my name is Clover. Clover Brooks. I’m named after a plant too. I kinda wish I was named after a pretty flower like you, though. It would have made me feel prettier.” 

“I think clovers are pretty,” I blurt out. “That is, um, it’s bright green, and it has heart shaped leaves, and, um, er…”

She lets out a giggle. “I get it, thank you,” she manages through her giggles. “You’re a nice person, huh? I can already tell, and we’ve barely even met!”

“I can tell you’re a nice person too.” 

“I’m only nice to people who are nice. But anyway, I think we’ll get along pretty well, don’t you think?”

I blink a few times at her. Did she mean “get along pretty well,” as in being good friends? I’m a little wary of her friendly invitation, because just a minute ago Jim offered to be my friend, and that turned out badly. And she did hit me in the head, and call me a wimp. But she seems a nice person. Oh, I don’t know. So I just sit there blinking silently, and Clover sits there blinking back at me. Her expression grows more and more awkward as the silence lengthens. 

“Well?” she says, after a few seconds. “Wanna say yes, anytime soon?”

That breaks my uncertainty. “Yes!” I furiously nod my head. “Definitely!”

And that is how I came to be friends with Clover Brooks.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Clover try to do something... mildly dangerous

The following days were a considerable improvement from my past days. Thanks to Clover, I could experience the bully-free school life. Of course, Jim still often tried to bully me, and when that happened I froze up, and cowered in fear. I still didn't have the courage to stand up for myself, or to fight back. But then Clover would come to the rescue, and chase the bullies away. I dare say Clover is my knight in shining armor. Now I am completely satisfied with my new life.

But it seems Clover isn't.

“I can take care of Jim for you,” she says, one Saturday afternoon, while beating me up in a game. That's a pretty random thing to suddenly say. “So now all you need is some new friends.”

I look up from the game we were playing. She knocks my character out. “I don't need any more friends,” I reply worriedly. Of course, that's a lie, and I obviously do want some new friends. I just said it because I see a glint in her eyes that is dangerously like the hungry look she had before, when I first met her, only just not as full of hostility. By now I know that her eyes turn gleamy whenever she's thinking something crazy, and I want to stop her from thinking whatever she is thinking right now, because I know they'll lead to some irrational action.

“And I thought up a plan,” Clover continues, ignoring my reply. She puts down the game controller, and turns to me. “You know we're going to the beach for the school trip, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I did some research, and that beach actually has this cool attraction called the Jumping Cliff. Basically, you can walk to the top of the cliff, and then jump down into the ocean. Isn't that perfect?”

“Perfect for what?” I gulp. I can tell this is going nowhere good.

“Perfect to make an impression, of course! I think many elementary school kids would fear jumping down a cliff like that. So, if you can jump from a cliff, it will look so cool and brave! Kids will instantly want to be friends with you!”

My face darkens with horror at what Clover is suggesting to me. “But, um…” I stammer, “I’m scared too! I don't want to jump off a cliff!”

“You must, and you will, because you can!” Clover asserts confidently. “Surely, you don't want to stay the way you are now?”

“Well, actually—”

“Besides,” she cuts me off, “I’ll be there to help you. In fact, I know the perfect place to practice! Follow me!”

Before I can even wonder how the heck you could practice jumping off a cliff, Clover grabs my hand and drags me to the front yard of her house. I can tell she's determined, because she's dragging me, and she usually can't because I’m much heavier than her. She takes me to the swing chair in the front yard, turns around, and beams at me.

“You will practice jumping off this swing chair.”

“What? No! I can't!”

“Sure you can. Here, watch!”

She walks up to one of the four supporting beams, and starts scaling it with her hands and feet. When she gets to the top, she breathes deeply, and then with a short “Hya,” she jumps. She lands on all fours with a thump. 

“See? Not hard at all. Now you try.”

“N, no! I really can't!”

“Oh, stop being a wimp, Lily. Come on, do it!”

Shivering with fear, I walk up to the beam. And just like Clover did, I start scaling it. This is my scariest experience ever. I keep wobbling, because I can't find my balance. Every threat of falling gives me a mini heart attack. Clover, why are you making me do this? I think Clover is shouting at me some words of encouragement, but I seriously can’t hear anything. Dark spots appear on the wooden beam where my sweat fell. 

After what feels like a Mount Everest climb, though, I am finally on top of the swing chair. I look down, and my legs almost turn to jelly. The ground is so far away. The swing is much higher than I expected it to be. How did Clover jump down from here? Oh, of course, Clover is slim and light as a feather, she probably has no trouble jumping down from here. Me, though, I weigh like a boulder. I’ll probably be squashed to a pulp by my own weight if I jump down. But I can’t exactly climb down the beam either. Aaah, help, I’m trapped!

“Good job, Lily!” shouts Clover from below. “Now jump down!”

“Clover, I really can’t!” I whimper back. “I’ll be squashed to a pulp! I’ll die!”

“I promise you, you won’t,” she says, a little exasperated. “You don’t have any choice anyway, you can’t come down unless you jump. So jump!”

Can’t you call an adult for me? Or maybe call the firefighters to help me down, like they do for cats stuck in trees. Oh, never mind, what am I thinking. She brought me this far, she’s not gonna stop now. Okay, I have no choice, I have to jump. It can’t be that bad, right? I mean, the ground is soft soil and everything. I’ve never heard of someone dying from jumping off a chair swing anyway. Okay, just calm down, take a deep breath, and jump on three. One, two, three!

I jump, and instantly I hit the ground. Ouch! Searing pain courses through my ankle. I land on my feet, but I don’t soften my fall by crouching down, like Clover did. So the full force of the impact hits my feet, and I think it sprained my left ankle. Ugh, it hurts so much, I can’t think of anything else. Is that… stars I’m seeing right now? I fall to the ground, clutching my hurt ankle. It hurts, please, someone make it stop, make the pain go away...

“Lily, are you okay?” This is Clover’s mom’s voice. “Does it hurt a lot, dear? I saw you jump from the swing chair. It gave me such a fright! Why did you do something so dangerous, dear? Didn’t your mom warn you not to play dangerously?”

All I manage is a groan.

“I’ll have to tell your mom of your bad behavior.” 

Clover’s face suddenly darkens. “Don’t, mom!” cries Clover desperately. “It’s not his fault! I, I made him jump! I dared him to, I said he was a scaredy-cat, and he said he wasn’t, and I said prove it, and, and…”

“Clover Brooks, is that true?” exclaims Mrs. Brooks. “I am very disappointed in you, young lady. What if Lily got seriously hurt?” Mrs. Brooks tenderly examines my ankle. “Thankfully it only seems to be a light sprain. It will get better if you let it rest, dear. I won’t tell your mom about this, I’m sure you’re smart enough not to do something so foolish again. You, however, Clover,” she says sternly to Clover, “are grounded for the weekend. I am ashamed that you forced your friend to do something so dangerous. I want you to think about how your actions has consequences. To your room, young lady.” 

Clover seems like she’s about to cry, but she merely hangs her head low and walks toward the house. Why did she lie?

“Lily dear, do you think you can walk? Let’s go to the kitchen, I’ll put an ice pack on your ankle.” 

Mrs. Brook supports me, and we go to the kitchen. She puts an ice pack on my ankle, tells me to stay put and rest, and goes away to do her business. But I’m worried more about Clover than my ankle. Why did she lie? She looked like she was about to cry. I hope her mom’s scolding didn’t hurt her feelings or anything. I limp to her room. The door is closed, but I can hear Clover sobbing. When I open the door, I find her sitting on the bed, hastily wiping her eyes and turning away at the sight of me. No doubt she doesn’t want me to see her crying. She just hates showing weakness. But the red rims of her eyes and her wet cheeks tell it all. Poor Clover. I walk closer to console her. 

“I’m sorry,” she blubbers through her stifled sobs. “I didn't think you'd get hurt, I only wanted to help you. Please don't hate me, Lily.”

“Of course I don’t hate you Clover. What makes you think that?”

“Because you got hurt, and it’s my fault. I forced you to do something you didn’t wanna, and now you got hurt because of me.”

“Well, it’s not that big of a deal. Mrs. Brooks said it’s only a light sprain, it will heal if I let it rest. Besides, don’t you think it’s cool? It’s like a battle scar for my bravery!”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yeah! I mean, thanks to you, I think I became a little braver. Now I know I can do things, even if I’m really scared, as long as I just put my mind to it. So don’t cry, Clover. I’m okay. You did me more good than harm.”

“Thanks, Lily.” Then she gives me a weak smile, and knocks me on the head. “That’s for getting me grounded.”

“Ow!” I shout jokingly, as I put the ice pack to where she hit my head. “Honestly, your knocks hurt more than the sprain. If anything, you should apologize about the knocks!”

“Ooh, what’s this? Does Lily dare question my actions? Seems like someone needs some more knocking on the head!”

“Those knocks are definitely doing more harm than good!”

Giggling, Clover playfully raises her fist, as if trying to land some more hits to my head. But instead, she grabs the ice pack, and before I know what she’s doing, she gently takes my left leg and applies the ice pack to the sprained ankle. The ice is cool on the skin, while Clover’s hands are warm. Whoa, this is kind of embarrassing. Three seconds of Clover holding my foot. Is my face burning? Four seconds. I hope it’s not visibly red or anything. Five seconds. Wait, what if my foot is smelly or something? Aaaaah! Please no! Six seconds. No girl has ever touched me this long. I’m super conscious of everything now! And we’ve been sitting in silence for seven seconds now! Gah, quick, say something! 

“Uh, so, why did you lie anyway?” What a stupid question! And my voice definitely sounded weird. I’m such a failure!

“I didn’t want you to get in trouble with your mom.”

“Oh, thank you. But you got in trouble instead. Sorry.”

“You silly, why are you apologizing? I’m the one at fault, so don’t you dare apologize.”

Clover flashes me a bright smile. She’s really pretty when she smiles. I hope she does that more, instead of crying. I shouldn't let today repeat again, then. That means I have to be braver, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, Lily tries something slightly more dangerous

Finally, the day of the school trip has come. I’m excited and dreadful at the same time. On one hand, I’m looking forward to all the fun I’ll have at the beach. I could swim in the waves, make sand castles, eat marshmallows next to a camp fire, et cetera. On the other hand, I’m going to be alone most of the time, because I’m sure Clover would want to spend time with her other friends. So can I handle being the odd one out of the crowd, constantly, for three days? Gosh, no wait, I can't! It’ll be so lonely. I can't handle being reminded that I have no friends constantly for 72 hours! Well, it's too late now though. I'm already sitting inside the school bus, on my way to the beach. I sigh, and look out the window. Instead of the scenery, I can only see my miserable face reflected on the glass. I grow more and more conscious of the empty seat next to me. 

When the bus arrives at the campsite, the students are quickly led to an auditorium, where they receive an orientation for the schedule of the trip. I don't think anyone is paying any attention though; we’re all just impatient to hurry up and get out there and play. Thankfully, after a while, the orientation finally ends, and after we leave our baggage in our assigned rooms, we're allowed free time to play at the beach. I watch the others join in groups and swim together or build sand castles for a moment, then start stretching, as I usually do before going into the water. I’m going through my final stretches when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to find Clover.

“That's right, you do those stretches properly,” she says. “After all, you need to jump off a cliff!”

“Are we… seriously going with that plan? I thought it was only a joke.”

“Not we, silly, you!” She knocks my head. “And of course it wasn’t a joke. It’s like, the perfect chance to impress others! You must jump off a cliff, and you will, because you can!”

I look at Clover incredulously. Didn’t we learn an important lesson the last time I tried jumping off somewhere? Something about dangerous activity and forcing others and consequences? But of course Clover is no fool, she obviously does know she’s not supposed to say these things. That’s why she’s guiltily looking at my left ankle. 

“I’m sorry, Lily. I know it’s pretty insensitive of me to suggest this plan to you, after what happened. But I really don’t know any other way to break the wall between you and the other kids. You just really need a strong BANG that will make the others want to be friends with you. I tried the other conventional methods, and I suggested to my other friends that we should hang out together, but they’re just too scared of Jim…”

Ah, Jim. Ever since the first day, Jim has been out to make sure that I stay alone. I don’t even know why he’s so bent on bullying me. I mean, we barely know each other, and he seems to just hate me so much. But thanks to him, all the kids are scared of befriending me, because they’re scared that doing so will make them the target of Jim too. Which is why it’s quite amazing that Clover always sticks up for me. I mean, it should be scary for her too, right? Jim is huge and intimidating, and she’s so small compared to him. 

Hmm, wait. If Clover is brave enough to stand up against Jim, then why can’t I jump off a cliff? After all, I did jump before, and that didn’t turn out too bad, right? Just a little sprain. And this time, I’m jumping into water, not hard soil. So it should be better. Besides, I promised myself I’ll be braver. This is the chance to prove that I’m not just all talk. 

“All right,” I say determinedly. “I’ll do it.”

“Oh, really? Are you sure?”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted me to jump!”

“I know, but… I also don’t want to force you into something dangerous, you know? I wanted to help you, and I’m positive this will help, but I know it’s also dangerous, and… Argh! What is this confusing feeling?”

“There, there, it’s okay, Clover.” I gently pat her back. “You’re not forcing me, I’m doing it because I want to. I want to prove that I’m brave.”

Heart pounding, I walk to the famous Jumping Cliff. It actually doesn't seem that high, looking from afar. I can see a couple of adults and teenagers jumping into the ocean. They're screaming as they fall, but it's the adrenaline-pumping I’m-on-a-rollercoaster scream, not the help-I’m-falling-to-my-death scream, which gives me a little assurance. At least I know it's relatively safe and plenty of people survive it. That is what I think... until I stand at the top of the cliff. Oh my gosh. The cliff seems a hundred meters high when I’m actually standing on the edge of it. And the ocean is actually black. It's so deep that the sunlight doesn't reach the bottom, so I feel like I’m staring into the black maw of a leviathan, ready to gulp me up like a… I don't know, a small snack. A snack so small it won’t satisfy a tenth of its hunger. Anyway, I can’t jump. It’s too scary. It's incomparable to the jump off a swing chair. I'm chickening out, and I want to bail. 

Except I can't.

Clover is already gathering audiences. “Hey, look!” she shouts. “Lily is going to jump off that cliff!”

I can't hear what my classmates are murmuring, but they sure have very incredulous expressions on their faces. “Are you sure you can jump?” shouts Clover, a little dramatically. “Only the bravest adults can jump off, you know!”She's glancing at the kids as she shouts that. Obviously, she wants the other kids to hear her, not me. 

“Ha, if he jumps off that, he’s going to sink to the bottom of the ocean!!” Jim asserts meanly. “Because he’s so fat and heavy!” he adds meaninglessly.   
‘Actually, fat people float easier than thin people,’ I retort silently to myself. I can't believe I only thought that, instead of at least muttering it out loud, even though Jim is so far away he can't hear me unless I shout. How much of a coward am I? Okay, I really have to jump now. I gotta change myself. 

I take a deep breath, take a last look into the abyss, and jump. My flabby skin ripples in the air for a second, then the water engulfs me. For the first few moments, the areas on my body that made first contact with the water sting, but gradually the cool water eases me. And it feels amazing. The burst of adrenaline from jumping off a cliff initially excited me, of course, but now I feel something more. I feel as if the fall ripped my old wimpy self off of me, and I'm now being bathed in the Styx River, like Achilles, becoming immortal. I feel braver.

When I swim to the shore, Clover rushes at me with the brightest beam I've ever seen. “I knew you could do it!” She excitedly shouts. She seems more excited than I am. “That was so cool. Right guys?” To my surprise, there are a few more kids behind her, all looking at me with the same excited grin. 

“Are you kidding me? That was amazing!” says a boy. “That was the biggest water bomb I’ve ever seen! It was just like, bakoom! I swear you made a tsunami there!”

“You’re so brave, Lily!” says another girl. "Only adults can jump off there. You're so brave, even though you're only 10 years old!”

“Th, thank you.” I stammer shyly. I'm positively glowing inside, I’ve never received so much attention. 

“Hey, you know what I think guys?” says Clover cheerfully. “I think we should celebrate Lily’s awesomeness over sausages!”

And with that, we all go to have barbecued sausages for lunch. Throughout lunch, the kids stick with me, and we become a close group of friends. I’m really surprised at how much the kids actually enjoy my company. Finally, I feel like a normal kid, not an awkward outsider. I feel confident, I feel happy, and most importantly, I feel really thankful to Clover, for making all this possible. 

The rest of the school trip is a blast of joy as I’ve never experienced before. All the activities, the eating times, the bedtimes, the campfire, everything is exciting and fun because I am sharing them with friends, instead of wandering in the outskirts, half-heartedly going through the motions. Naturally, my friends and I are unwilling when the school trip is almost at its end, and we have to go back to our usual school lives. But alas, all things must come to an end. 

“Hey, we still have some free time till we need to get on the bus. Let's go to the field and search for four leafed clovers,” suggests Clover. 

We agree, and soon we are at the field patched here and there with clumps of clovers. We crawl around for a few minutes, but nobody manages to find any. I consider plucking every single clover until I find the four leafed one, but stop myself because you're not supposed to hurt Mother Nature like that. The kids start giving up, and I'm about to too, when Clover exclaims, “I found it!”

Surprised, we gather around her, and sure enough, we find four distinct leaves on a stem, held triumphantly in Clover’s hand. 

“Wow, you’re so lucky!” exclaims Sheryl.

“I’m so envious!” cries Terry.

“Hey, can I have that?” asks Roy.

“Haha, of course not!” answers Clover, as she pulls her clover to herself protectively. “I found it; I’m the rightful owner.”

“Jeez, stingy!” says Roy, jokingly. 

“Ah, it’s too bad that we couldn’t find more. But we don’t have time now,” says Sheryl, regretfully. "Oh well, let’s head back guys.”

Slowly, we head back to the bus. The bus takes us to school, and we assimilate ourselves back to our normal lives.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things continue to be happy... Until they didn't.

I thought the happy days with me, Clover, Sheryl, Terry, and Roy would continue forever, or at least till graduation day. But it didn't. 

It is the middle of our fifth grade, and Clover is to move to another country because of her mother’s business. It sucks. I don't wanna separate from her. Alas, the moment has come where I am at the airport, about to see Clover off. We stand in silence, staring at anything but each other. 

Finally, I open my mouth. “So, you're going.”

“…Yeah." She lets out a huge sigh. "Geez, I'm so worried! What will you do without me? How will you survive the rest of school with Jim there! And not just elementary school. Even in middle school, and high school, I bet there’ll be bullies just waiting to target you!” She knocks my head. “Geez, why do you have to be such a weakling? If you were stronger, I wouldn't have to be so worried!”

“I’ll become stronger, so you wouldn't have to worry,” I say. “I won't be a wimp anymore. Heck, I’ll even exercise, and lose weight, and grow muscles,” I add enthusiastically. 

“Hmph, as if I’ll believe that.” She huffs a few times into the air, then brings her hands behind her neck, and takes off her necklace. As she slowly hands it to me, she says, “Here, take this. Hopefully it'll bring you good luck, so you don't have to deal with mean people like Jim again.”

Whoa. When I take a closer look at the necklace, I am quite taken aback. It's a hand made necklace, a leather string with a single pendant hanging from it. The pendant is actually a small clear case with a four leaf clover displayed inside. The clover from the school trip back then. 

“Clover, are you sure I can take this?” I ask, incredulously. “I mean, you found this clover, and don't you need the good luck more than me? You're going to start a whole new life in a whole new place!”

“I don't need it, silly.” She knocks my head again. “I’m strong, so I don't need to rely on some good luck. I can get by with my own strength.”

“But…”

“Clover, it’s almost time to go now!” Mrs. Brooks interrupts me. 

“Coming, mom!” Clover shouts back. “Just take it, okay? At least, keep it as a memento to remember me by…” she trails a little sadly. 

“Okay.” I put the necklace around my neck. Then we stare at each other silently for a few moments, not knowing what more to say. 

“Well, goodbye,” She says.

“Goodbye,” I echo. 

We hug each other tightly. Then, without looking at my face, Clover lets go of me and rushes to her mom. She doesn't look back a single time as she passes through the security gate to the platforms. She didn't want me to see her cry.

*****

I do become stronger, like I promised. At least, I’m in the process of it right now.

“Take that, fatty!”

Lately, Jim’s bullying has increased because Clover is not there to buff the abuse for me. I cannot imagine why he puts so much dedication into bullying me. I mean, his cronies have got tired of it a long time ago, but he just doesn't seem to want to let me be happy for one second of my life. Of course, he can't touch me when I'm with my friends, but whenever he catches me alone, he strikes. At first, of course, immediate change was impossible, so I had my lunch taken by Jim. But after that, it struck me: what Jim does is really lame. I mean, he’s already in sixth grade, and he’s still stealing people's lunches? At the risk of redundancy, let me say: how childish and immature is that? When I realized him for the real baby he is, instead of the big bad intimidating bully he was, he seemed like a little, well, baby. So I showed those feelings. At the next bully attempt, I looked Jim sternly in the eye, told him to stop, and gracefully left the place. He was so stunned by my sudden change that he didn't bother chasing me. At the next attempt though, he decided to pursue me, and get a bit more physical. My graceful exits became practically fleeing then. After that, he didn't bother with my lunch, but hit me, bumped me, tripped me, and pushed me all the time. And finally, I’ve had enough. So today, I fought back. When he pushed me, I pushed him back, and when he punched me, I threw my own fist right back at him. That's why we're now wrestling with each other, violently kicking and punching in every direction possible. 

“Eat this, you baby!” I scream, as I punch at Jim’s face. He dodges it, and counters right back. He’s had more practice fighting than me. The situation isn't good. I’m already beat and tired, but Jim looks like he has some fuel left.

“What's the matter, fatty? Too heavy to keep up? Well then, let me finish you!”

Jim charges at me. This is it. He’s going to tackle me, and beat me up, and I'll be a wimp forever.   
“Hey stop that!”

Oh, thank god, Roy, Sheryl, and Terry have come to my rescue. Jim falters, while my friends step in front of me to form a protective barrier. 

“Beat it, Jim!”

“Yeah, go away!”

“Stop being such a bully and grow up, will ya?”

Jim recognizes that he is outnumbered. He barks toughly, “Yap yap! Little wusses clinging to each other for support. You weaklings gross me out! I’m outta here!” then beats a hasty retreat. I slump to the ground, relieved, and my friends gather around me. They ask if I’m okay, and I say I'm fine.

“Thanks so much for coming to save me, guys.”

“Oh shucks, it was nothing.”

“But I wish I could actually beat him and win. I mean, the way I am now, I’m still a wimpy loser.”

“One, you are neither wimpy nor a loser, two, there’s no shame in not being a great fighter. Geez, we're in the 21st century, we don't need to know how to brawl!”

“That's true, but…”

If I could beat Jim, well that would really show him. He’ll immediately stop picking on me, I bet. And I also promised Clover to become stronger. I don't think her definition of strong is ‘Get your butt saved by your friends every time you're in a pinch.’ I think it's more ‘Solve your own problems with your own hands.’ Hmm, I guess I'd better really start exercising, like I promised Clover. Wouldn't exercising help get me buff and strong?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Lily has decided to exercise.   
> Will that change anything? Maybe, maybe not.

It didn't.

Well, as in, exercising didn't make me buff, nor did it improve my fighting abilities. That grew with practices with Jim. But exercising did help improve my confidence. I mean, it really improves my appearance. I had no idea I could actually lose this much weight. I think I’m actually just a little chubby now, instead of fat. I don't nearly sweat as much. And people don't steal glances at me anymore, when I walk by them. It feels awesome.

“Hey, Lily, you seem different these days,” says Roy one day.

“Um, well, duh, I lost some serious weight,” I reply.

“That too, but, your personality seems different too,” says Sheryl. “You know what I mean? You seem more… confident.”

“I hate to say this… but I think not having Clover around is helping Lily,” suggests Terry tentatively. “I mean, when Clover was here, she always stuck around Lily and protected him, didn't she? It was very kind of her, but she made things a bit too, how should I say this, convenient? for Lily, I think. 

“I kinda thinks so too,” agrees Sheryl. “Now, since Lily is not always protected anymore, he’s obviously forced to fend for himself, and that made him more independent; and the realization that he can actually do things himself made him more confident. I think that's what's happening to Lily right now.”

Huh. The girls have a point there. I actually agree with them. Especially since I made a promise to Clover to become stronger, I have been trying to act more assertive recently. I think that's what I’ve been lacking all this time. The power to actually speak my mind.

Ugh, all these mentions of Clover’s name shoots a pang of sadness through me, though. I miss her so much. It's already been a year since she's left. I wonder how she's doing. We exchange emails and chat online, of course, but it's not enough. Besides, we're talking less and less frequently. Are we slowly drifting apart? Is she slowly forgetting me, moving on? Is that normal? Am I the weird one, the unhealthy one, obsessively clinging on to an old memory?

I suddenly feel confused and miserable. I want to clear my mind a bit. I separate from my friends, and walk to the tree in the courtyard, where my friendship with Clover started. Sitting on one of its trunk, I take out the clover necklace and stare at it, lost in thought. So lost in fact, that I don't notice Jim approaching me from behind. 

Swiftly, he yanks the necklace out of my hands. “Ha, what’s this? A necklace? So lame! Are you a girl?”

“Give that back,” I snarl, as I grab for the necklace. Jim jumps back, my necklace still dangling in his hands.

“So not only fat, but you’re also girly, huh?” taunts Jim. “Girly, fatty, wimpy…”

“And you need to grow up,” I say. I’ve become good at speaking my mind out loud these days. 

“Ooh, you’re so disgusting,” his eyes narrow, “no wonder Clover couldn’t take it. That’s why she left you…”

Snap.

He did not just say that. He did not talk about us. He did not dare say her name with his disgusting mouth…

Uncontrollable rage. My eyesight blackens. I can’t see anything except for the despicable trash in front of me. I want to hurt him so much.

Growling like an animal, I fling at Jim. My fist lands squarely on Jim’s cheek. I hear a satisfying whack. Jim stumbles backwards, but does not fall back. Steadying himself, he wipes his cheeks. He’s surprised; he finds blood wiped on the back of his hand. “You little…” he snarls. He lunges at me, eyes fierce. We lock each other in a fistfight, rolling on the ground like mad dogs. For a while, the only sound in the area is scuffling dirt, blunt thwacks, and beastly screams. Slowly, our skins turn red, purple, and blue. Jim beats me good, but I don’t even feel any pain. I’m so mad at him, that all my sense of pain is locked. In fact, I don’t have any sense left in me. The only “sense” I feel is a sickly satisfying exhilaration, as I slowly but surely beat Jim into a bloody pulp. 

In the end, I manage to make Jim cry. 

After that, the situation quickly resolves itself. My friends are the first to rush at me, expressions half worried, half unbelieving. They keep glancing at the bawling Jim, as they support my tired, bloody body. Next Mrs. Harrison comes rushing. Her expression is half surprise and half stern. I hear her lecturing me and Jim, but I honestly don’t hear a single word she says. Then we’re both led to the principal’s office, and given a week of suspension. 

During my suspension, when I’m not hearing a lecture from my mom, I do nothing but think. I’m a whirl of confusion. I feel so happy that I finally had my revenge on Jim, for all those times he’s bullied me. I feel proud that I’ve grown so strong, I can actually beat a sturdy guy like Jim in a fight. I feel ashamed that I used my strength to hurt people; this is not the “strong” Clover wanted me to become. But mostly, I feel sad that Clover is not here with me.

***** 

Time flies. Many changes occur in the meantime. 

I lose contact with Clover. She no longer responds to my emails or chat messages.

I become a high schooler.

My parents move abroad for their business. They didn’t want to interrupt my studies and social life anymore, and they also believed I’m old enough to take care of myself, so they decided to leave me behind. I’m living alone now. 

I practically go through metamorphosis, appearance-wise. I’m tall for my age, am average weight, and pretty lean and muscular, if I say so myself. All those workouts paid off.

This may be the result of the appearance change: I’m sociable now. Not only do I have my own close knit of friends, (some who are from elementary school, no less. Sheryl and Terry ended up going to different high schools, but Roy is still my classmate and dear buddy.) but I can be on friendly terms and even chat with people in general, without being a totally awkward disaster. This is by far my proudest feat. 

I only miss Clover sometimes now. Okay, I look at my necklace every night and keep a picture of her on my phone, but nobody knows that, except for Roy. Most think I don’t have any interest in anyone. Which is why I don’t have a girlfriend. Which is why some girls think they have a chance. Which is why some surprisingly actually confess to me. Which happens to be right now. 

“Um, Lily?” one girl shyly says to me, after school. Gosh, this is awkward. I already feel sorry for her. “I really like you. I always liked how you were friendly, and kind to everyone. Especially to the people who are a little left out. I think it’s really admirable how you can care for people like that. And I thought, I wanted to be like you… and be with you. So, um, could you go out with me?”

Wow. Such a sweet girl. She actually gave me the reason she likes me. She didn’t just develop some fleeting crush based on the outside; She noticed the me inside. She said all the right things and made me flattered. I can just tell she’s not the type of girl to be disgusted by or shrink back from an ugly appearance. Such as my “dark history.” 

…Or will she? I’ll never know. Even if she learns of my past now, and sees the pictures of me from back then, it still wouldn’t be the same as actually knowing me then. My past will be distant and impersonal, something already gone. It’s easy to say “I accept you, even your ugly past,” if you know that past is already over with. 

Clover was the only one who willingly reached out to and stuck with the me back then first. She’s the only one who truly, truly, truly accepts me. That’s why if I’ll ever truly love a girl, it’s only her. 

“I’m sorry,” I say to the girl, as gently as possible, “I already have a girl I like.”

“What…? Who?”

“Um, you don’t know her.”

“Oh, I see…” she trails. She doesn’t believe me. Tears well in her eyes, and her ears redden. “Well, this is pretty embarrassing. I’ll be going now.” Almost as if running away, she hastily leaves the classroom. I absent-mindedly stare at the door she’s left through, feeling very guilty. After a few moments, Roy walks through the same door.

“Wow,” he exclaims, “I saw Iris running out of here, crying. Did you just turn down a girl again? How many times is that?”

“Oh gosh,” I half say, half sigh, “I feel so bad for her. Why would she even cry?”

“Well, duh.” Roy rolls his eyes. “She was so into you! Do you know how many times I caught her staring at you? I mean, she makes it so obvious, even bystanders notice. She always finds reasons to be with you, and smiles a lot around you, and she remembers things about you—"

“Okay, okay,” I interject, “we get the point, Ryan.”

“Ryan? Whose Ryan?”

“It’s an in-joke.”

“With Clover, huh.” Roy lets out a heavy sigh. “Lily, how long do you plan to hang onto Clover? It doesn’t look good, you know.”

“Hey, leave it.”

“No, seriously, she’s dragging you down. You know Iris? She’s really popular, because she’s such a sweet and kind person. And then all those other girls you turned down, they were all really good girls too. But you don’t even look at them; all you can think about is Clover. I mean, I know it’s up to you who you like or not, but… Clover’s not here. I think you should stop clinging onto Clover’s memory, and move on.”

“…”

“…Lily?”

“Thanks Roy. I’ll think about it.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, Lily did change a bit after all.   
> Now his whole life is going to change.

For the following few days, I reconsider Roy’s advice. Saturday, I conclude that Roy’s right. I mean, look at me. I freaking keep a picture of Clover in my phone. A picture from elementary school! If anyone caught me looking at her in my phone, obviously infatuated, they’d think I’m a pedophile or something. That’s right, I admit; I’m unhealthily obsessed with Clover. It’s time to let go. It’s time to move on. 

I back up the pictures of Clover in my phone to my laptop, then delete them from my phone. I feel empty, and weary for some reason. I decide to take a walk outside to refresh myself. 

The scenery is something I’ve seen a thousand times, from my walk with Clover. Right now, I don’t want to look at anything that reminds me of Clover, so I take a different route. Walking down a different neighborhood, I notice a truck of a moving company. It's parked next to a house, the yard stacked with brown cardboard boxes, waiting their turn to be placed in the house. A couple of sturdy men move the boxes inside, while a teenage girl watches from the side. A girl with long brown hair, and slim figure. A girl who looks surprisingly familiar.

Can it be…?

No, it can't.

But it is.

It's Clover.

I almost can't believe it, but because I want to believe it, I immediately do. It's definitely her. I recognize those strong, confident eyes, the eyes that reflect her strong, unwavering spirit.   
Crap. I want to approach her, but I don't know how. What if it's awkward? No, it can't be, we were best friends. Should I greet her excitedly? Calmly? Should I shout hello from here? Or surprise her from behind? Okay, calm down, let's just greet her normally, like back in elementary school. Uh, so, how did I greet her back then? …Great, I can't remember. Fine, let's just, let's just walk normally to her and say hi. Nothing hard with that. Okay now, legs, move.

I walk more slowly than usual towards her. I can hear my footsteps. I can hear my heart pounding inside me, almost about to burst out. I’m 10 meters away from her… 5 meters… 3… 2… 1…

“Hey, Clover, long time no see! How are you?”

A blank stare returns. “Um, I’m sorry, do I know you?”

Ouch. Shock courses through my body. How can it be? Clover doesn't remember me! 

“Wow, Clover, how could you forget me?” I take out my necklace tucked under my shirt. “Perhaps this will jog your memory?”

Slight confusion, then realization. Her eyes widen, and a slow smile spreads on her face.

“Lily!” Clover jumps at me and locks me in a squeezing embrace. “It's so nice to see you again! When did you become so slim? I really couldn't recognize you at first.” She reaches out and knocks my head with her fist, just like old times. “That's for confusing me.”

“Ouch! Man, you haven't changed at all. You're still hitting your friends.” I take a glance at her height, and add playfully, “and you're still so short.”

“Hey, I grew too! You’re the one who became crazy tall.” She pouts a little. “And to think I used to be taller than you. I’m so disappointed, it's harder to hit you now.”

“I think you're the only girl who would ever be disappointed by their friend becoming tall for a reason like that.” 

But… wow. She really was taller than me back in 4th grade, but now I outstrip her by a whole head. And the way she looks up to me is… so cute! Now I understand why guys want to be tall.

“Anyway, are Mr. and Mrs. Brooks here too? I’d like to say hi to them.”

“Oh, they're not here. I’m the only one who came back.” 

“Really? That's just like me. My parents are abroad too, so I'm the only one at home.” She has to adjust to a new life all by herself? That's pretty tough! Even if this was the neighborhood she used to live in. “It might be a little difficult to adjust all by yourself at first, so you can call me for help anytime,” I suggest to her good-naturedly. “Speaking of which, I can help you unpack your things. It's gonna take a million years to unpack all by yourself.”

“Ha, are you sure? I don't think a weakling like you can handle the weight.”

“Haha, what the heck, Clover! Did you even check out my muscles? I can handle them all right.”

Sheesh! Of course Clover was stronger than me back in elementary school. But I’ve been working out, plus I'm a boy after all, so obviously I’d be stronger than her by now. Eh, it’s a little disheartening that Clover still only seems to see the past me. I wanted to appear all strong and manly to her. 

“Well, then, I’ll gladly take your offer. Thanks, Lily. By the way, I can't believe you still have that necklace. I’m a little touched.”

“Well, it's my lucky charm after all. Gotta treat it preciously.” After all, it brought Clover back to me. I'm sure it did.

The rest of the afternoon, we spend the time unpacking and arranging her things. I haven't felt this joyful in a long while. It's like there was this dark fog in my heart, but the sun is now shining through and dispelling it. My steps are light, and I have a goofy grin stuck on my face. All simply because she is here, next to me. 

 

*****

Sunday, I spend the whole day helping Clover some more. Monday morning, I get up extra early to walk to school together with Clover. (Turns out she’ll be going to the same school as me. Yay!) These days I’m so hyped that Clover is here, I become restless unless I spend every waking hour I possibly can with her. Besides, the magic of nostalgia that crashes over me as I walk with her to school, just like the old days, is amazing. 

At school, Clover introduces herself perfectly normally. Such a stark contrast to the disaster that was my self-introduction back in 3rd grade. Then the homeroom teacher allows Clover to sit next to me because “Oh, you know her? Excellent, you can help her adjust.” This is of course the scenario I’ve been wishing ardently for last night, and I’m practically bursting with delight inside. Across the room, I see Roy sending me disbelieving eyebrows and joyful eyes and teasing smirks. He’s going through some mixed emotions, just as I did. 

During break, Roy joins me and Clover for a childhood reunion. “Wow, Clover, how have you been! It's amazing to see you again,” he says, after releasing Clover from a friendly hug. “Man, you haven't changed at all! Especially your height!”

“What the heck, is this a boy humor code or something? I’ve grown too, you just grew taller!”

“Hahaha! I know, I know. Just wanted to joke around, like old times.”

More laughter from the three of us. We're all merry. It's the power Clover possesses. She has the ability to make those around her happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rival appears!

Iris had been watching the three, especially the new girl, from the other side of the classroom. She had been turned down by Lily only last week, and yet, before her scarred heart and pride could even heal, this new girl popped out from nowhere and was claiming the whole attention of Lily. Just who could she be? How does she know him? But most importantly, what makes her so special that Lily is so genuinely ecstatic to be with her? Her appearance wasn't anything noteworthy, to be sure; she might be slightly on the pretty side, but nevertheless, her features were plain, her hair lifeless, and her figure mediocre. Iris was positive she was superior in at least the looks department.

“Who is that girl?” she mused, half to herself and half to her friend, still looking at the new girl.

“From what I can tell from their chatter, I think she’s Lily’s childhood friend or something.”

“Ah, childhood friend. So she has that advantage, huh?”

“Ooh, are you jealous?”

“Maybe,” replied Iris. She really couldn't take her eyes off the girl. “Just a bit.”

*****

A few weeks pass by blissfully. Clover is adjusting well to her new school, thanks to the help from me and Roy. I’ve practically never left Clover’s side these days, walking to school with her in the mornings, eating together at lunch, and walking back home together in the evenings. Roy thinks I should stop following Clover around and leave her alone sometimes, so she can explore by herself and make new friends. I understand where he's coming from; Clover hasn't made any other friends yet. But it's not like she's complaining, and I’m kinda unwilling too. For now, I want to stay with her to make up for the time we were separated. In fact, this Saturday, I invited Clover to do homework together. My excuse is that I want to help her catch up with our school lessons, but obviously the truth is I just want to be together with her. 

It's 15 minutes earlier than the time we promised, but I hear the doorbell ringing. 

“Lily!” It's Clover’s voice. “Are you in there? Open up!”

“Aren't you a little early?” I shout at her from inside. I’m quite not in the situation to see her yet. 

“Well, our houses are really close by, so I ended up coming early,” she shouts back. “Now, are you gonna open up or not? It's rude to leave a lady waiting, you know?”

Oh well, got no choice. “Coming!” I shout as I rush to the door. I hurriedly open it, and say, “sorry for making you wait.”

One glance at me and Clover immediately yelps a mini scream. Because I’m shirtless and dripping wet. 

“Wh, wh, what the heck are you doing!” she yells as she covers her eyes and turns around. “Indecent exposure is punishable by law, you pervert!” Her voice is higher pitched than normal.

“What the, I have my pants on, thank you very much,” I say against her exaggerated accusations. “Besides, this is my home. I can wear whatever I want,” I add toughly. Well, actually, I’d rather not present myself half naked to other people so suddenly either, but I was in the shower when Clover arrived, and I couldn’t find my shirt, and she was hurrying me. I mean, see, I still have a towel on my head, I didn't even have time to dry myself properly yet! 

“A, anyway, hurry up and put on something!” Clover orders, all flustered. I obediently go to my room to put on a shirt. Geez, is this her first time seeing a boy shirtless or something? She doesn't have to be so worked-up about it, does she? She's already a high schooler, she can't be that innocent, can she? But, wait. What if she's embarrassed… because she likes me! Wow, I can't believe it, maybe she does like me!

Wait, okay, calm down. Let's not get over-excited so fast. It may all well be my imagination. Yeah, actually, it's probably just my imagination. What girl wouldn't be startled if you suddenly appear in front of her half naked? 

“What's taking you so long? Hurry up, we have work to do!” calls Clover impatiently. “Okay okay,” I answer, and emerge from my room to find Clover waiting on the couch. After checking that I am properly dressed, Clover stands up, walks towards me, and knocks my head. 

“That’s for public obscenity,” she says. Honestly, this girl.

But nevertheless, the embarrassed Clover looks so… cute. I mean, look at her! She's all red, and her cheeks are puffed, and she sort of has this cross expression, and it just sorta makes her look like a cute little animal, I guess. Kind of like those tiny kittens that try to attack you, but even though they scratch it doesn't hurt at all, and if you just flick it back it falls over and tumbles around. Clover right now is so full of that ‘awww’ factor that she invites others to tease her.

“You don't have to be so worked up about it, it's not like this is your first time seeing me shirtless. Remember elementary school camp, where you forced me to jump off a cliff? I was shirtless then.”

“Wow, the way you say it, I sound like some murderous bully.”

“And I remember you in a swimsuit too. I think your sunburn from that time still hasn't left you. You're still so red all over!"

"Geez, this is your fault, not the sun's!"

“Haha, okay, okay. Want some orange juice?”

“Yes please. It’s weirdly hot in here.”

Clover rigorously fans herself with her hand. I hand her a glass of orange juice, and she downs it all in one go. “Okay, let’s get on with the homework, then!” Clover awkwardly says. She's trying to cover her embarrassment with false cheeriness, but for a while the pink shades on her face don't disappear.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lily and Clover spend time catching up

In an hour, our homework is done. Really, they were simple tasks, not the kind anyone needs help with.

Clover puts her things away, and stretches on a sofa. “So what shall we do now?” she asks. “You’ve got any good video games?”

“Um, not really,” I answer. “I don't play video games.” 

“What? Seriously? Are you sure you're a high school boy?” Clover’s eyes are wide with disbelief. “Wow, I can't believe there's a high school boy who doesn't play video games. What do you do in your free time then?”

Well, ever since I’ve decided to become stronger back in elementary school, I’ve been investing my time in exercising. I didn’t want to play video games, because I thought it would make me fat again. So, I gave them all away, and now most of the time I hang out in the gym. But that's not exactly the best way to spend time with the girl you like, so I give her my second hobby.

“I like to make things. I'm actually interested in DIY interior stuff.”

Clover’s eyes open even wider. How much can she open those eyes? “Really? That's so cool!” Yay, she called me cool. “I think doing DIY interior design is amazing, you have to be manly and feminine at the same time. Hey, you should make me something some day.”

“Well, we have time right now. Why don't I make you something right now?”

“Really? That's so sweet of you! I actually do want something specifically, I wonder if you can make it.”

“What is it?”

“You know, a swing chair.”

“A swing chair. Like the one I jumped off of and sprained my leg?”

“Geez, you didn't have to put it that way! But yes. My parents sold it away when we had to move, but I miss it so much. Do you think you can make one?”

A chance to appeal to Clover. I’ve actually never tried making something so complex, but I bluff my way through. “Of course I can!” I say confidently. “Come on, follow me to the garage.” 

The garage is filled with wood planks, nuts, bolts, screws, drills, saws, and so on. Clover is quite impressed by my “work place.” She flits here and there, admiring the serious-looking tools and materials. Meanwhile I frantically search the internet for a plan for a swing chair. I find one that seems doable, so I print the instructions out. Soon Clover and I are dragging planks to the floor, measuring them and cutting them to the right size. I’m a little worried that Clover might find the process tiring and boring, but she seems to be genuinely enjoying herself. It relieves me to see her smiling so brightly, saying how excited she is to make her very own swing chair. We're concentrating and working so hard, time flies in a blink of an eye. The sun starts setting, dyeing the sky in golden orange and pink. We're sweaty and sticky all over, and we’ve only made progress halfway, but we feel surprisingly good about ourselves. 

“Wow, that was some workout! I’m sweaty all over!” Clover exclaims, making faces at her own sticky self. 

“You can take a shower if you want.”

“Nah, I’ll just wash when I get back home. It's close anyway.”

I fight down a tinge if disappointment. I kinda wanted to see Clover right after a shower. She’d look so sexy when she's wet. With water, of course. I didn't mean anything else.

“Hey, can I come again tomorrow? To help finish?” Clover asks.

“Of course, obviously! But make sure you don't come too early this time.”

She blushes slightly, mingling with the sunset. “Stop teasing me about that, silly!” She reaches out and knocks my head. 

I offer to escort her back home, but she says it's fine, it's only a short distance. So I watch her go, following her footsteps with my eyes, imagining myself walking with her. Imagining reaching her door, being offered to come into her house. Imagining having dinner with her (though we already had dinner) and washing the dishes together. Like a couple madly in love. Then we get married, we have children, we see them grow up, we grow old together, then…  
I snap out of my daydream. Geez, calm down, me.

*****

The next day, early morning, I buy some missing materials, and wait for Clover. Around noon, she comes over, and we start on our swing chair again. All the preparation is done, so we just have to assemble the materials together. 

For a while things go smoothly, but while hammering Clover lets out a sharp “Ow!” Worried, I immediately bolt to her side. She’s hammered her finger by mistake, and its swelling a little, turning into an ugly color of black and blue. A bit of blood is beading on the corner of her nail. Grimacing with pain, Clover brings her finger to her mouth to suck on it, but I block her arms from her mouth. 

“Whoa, stop, don't! That's not very hygienic. Follow me.” 

I lead Clover inside the house, rinse her hands in flowing warm water, and wipe it with betadine. Then I fill a plastic bag with ice and keep it on her finger. 

“Make sure to elevate your hand, okay?” I instruct her. 

“Thanks, Lily. You're pretty good at this.” 

“Yeah, I had some practice,” I say, smiling. “Rest your hand now, it’ll get better.”

“Too bad I can't help you with the swing chair anymore. Sorry.”

“It's okay, there's not much left to do anyway.”

From then on, I finish up making the swing chair, while Clover watches me from the side. Around the time the sun starts setting, the swing chair is done. Clover gleefully skips to it, and plops on the seat. After putting the tools and leftover materials away, I sit next to her. For a while we swing in silence, looking at the sky turn from faded blue to orange to navy. Then Clover inhales sharply, remembering something.

“Oh crap! Now that I think about it, I can't bring this all the way to my house, it's too heavy!”

“Eh, oh yeah, you wanted it in your front yard. Oops.” I make a straight face, hiding the bubbling glee in me. “Then you’ll just have to come over whenever you want a swing.”

“Oh, well. I guess.” Clover knocks me on the head. “That's for not thinking this through properly.”

“Hey, it's half your fault!” I say, rubbing my head. In fact, both Clover and I didn't even notice this would happen when we started building the swing chair, we were just so excited about the actual doing part. But in retrospect, I am truly glad Clover never realized sooner. 

“Oh, by the way, is your hand okay? I hope the ice-pack didn't give you frostbites.”

“Pfft, silly, the ice’s already melted.” She holds up a plastic bag, filled with water.

“Well, it still must have been cold.” I take her injured hand up to my mouth, blow warm air on it, and rub it. Clover’s face turns red, yet again.

“Silly…” she mumbles under her breath. She knocks my head lightly, almost half-heartedly.

Again, we sit in silence, the only sound the creaking of the swing chair as we swing lightly. The night air is cool on my face, while Clover’s hand is warm. One by one, the windows of the neighboring houses light up. It's getting late.

“Well, I guess I should head home.” Her voice is quiet, melting into the night. 

“Yeah.” 

We stand up, and Clover gently pulls her hand away. I stick my hand in my pocket, to preserve her lingering warmth before it is erased by the coolness of the night. We walk down the street side by side, apparently Clover not minding me escorting her this time. Finally we are in front of her front door. 

“Oh yeah, I have something for you.” I take out a bracelet with a four-leaf clover design. I found it a few years ago, at a Sunday market. It reminded me of the clover necklace Clover gave me so much, that I ended up buying it for no reason. I'm glad I can give it to Clover now. 

“Oh, Lily, this is so sweet,” Clover exclaims. Her eyes twinkle. “First the swing chair, and now this. You're too good to me. I didn't do anything for you.”

“Oh, you've done plenty.” Like being my friend back in elementary school. Giving me courage and strength. A new life. 

“Hmm, but I want to repay you. I know! I’ll tell you something cool. I’ll tell you the password to my house.”

Wait, what?

“Blugh-cough-wha-?” Oops, I'm so surprised I'm blubbering.

“The password. You use it to open that door.” She points to the front door of her house. 

I straighten myself the best I can. “Wh, why would I need that?”

“Oh, you know why.” Clover looks at me sideways, lips forming a teasing smile. I gulp. Clover sees me gulp. She smiles wider. “Come on, come closer, I’ll tell you.”

Dazedly, and slowly, I lean into her. Clover puts her hand on my shoulder, cups her mouth, and stands on her tiptoes, as she leans into my ear. I can feel her breath tickling my ear, and then…

Clover kisses my cheek.

And also knocks my head.

“Silly, I’m not gonna tell you something like my password!” She skips cheerfully inside, and peaks from behind the door. “Well then, see you tomorrow!” And the door closes.

I just stare at the air, absent-mindedly, rubbing my cheek. I feel like a statue. But as I walk back home, emotions start boiling in me. By the time I’m back home, I’m furiously pumping with adrenaline. I sing and dance and shout all over the place, to the point that a neighbor angrily pounds on the door to tell me to pipe it down, the children are trying to sleep. I decrease my volume, but the joy in me won't quiet down, and I go to sleep flighty and pumped.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awwww, so nice to see Lily and Clover even closer!

The next day, I greet Clover in front of her house as usual. It's a little awkward at first; Clover and I look at anything but each other for a few minutes. But as we walk towards school, the atmosphere loosens up, and by the time we arrive at school we’re chatting and smiling and giggling. We seem to click together even better than before. That's when I decide I’ll ask Clover to be my girlfriend. 

I consult Roy on how to get about actually doing it.

“Should I just ask her after school? Do I have to prepare an event? Should I get some flowers?” 

“Dude, calm down. And definitely don't get flowers. Flowers are cliché,” Roy advises me. “Honestly, you two are so close, you’re practically going out already. Some of the students think you two are official.”

“But I want to make it official to Clover, you know? I mean, it would be awkward if I assume she’s my girlfriend, but she just thinks of me as a friend, you know? Maybe I should kiss her? I mean, she kissed my cheeks and everything.”

“Clover kissed you on the cheeks? Dang, you two already went that far, huh? You naughty kids, you two should just get married already.”

“Oh come on, stop messing with me and be serious, Roy!” But the truth is that made me feel good. 

In the end, I decide I will propose to her Friday after school. I’ll just walk home with her like usual, and casually drop the idea of us dating together, as if asking about homework. If she says yes, great, we have the weekend to ourselves. If she is unsure, she has the weekend to think over it. If she says no, well, then, I have the weekend to cry. It is the best possible timing for a proposal, I think. Oh, and I'm going to prepare the flowers after all. 

*****

Iris was nearby, eavesdropping on their conversation. Ever since the rejection, she had been lingering around Lily, unnoticed but tenacious. Her interest in Lily was growing dangerously obsessive, slowly twisting her straight character, making her act in ways she would never have even imagined before. The truth was, like every other person, Iris was not perfect, and her flaw was that she was too proud. She was excellent in studies, at sports, at parties; she was a good daughter, good pupil, and good friend. She had always been loved and accepted, and that gave her confidence, and a sort of ego-boost. In a way, Iris could be described as having been sheltered in a glass dome world. But with Lily’s rejection, a small scratch had been left on her glass dome, and she had her first taste of the harsh reality, where someone could dare to not love her. She was embarrassed, surely, and irritated. She wanted to erase these feelings, and make her glass dome clear and smooth again.

'Lily can't love Clover, he has to love me,' she thought. 'I have to stop the proposal.'

Iris concocted a plan to erase the scratch. Unnoticed by her, the glass dorm started to shatter.

*****

Finally, Friday is here. 

I’m walking home with Clover, just like we always do. I’m so nervous. I feel so stiff, my knees won't bend. I walk like an awkward soldier, swinging my arms and legs exaggeratedly, looking nowhere but straight ahead. I can hear my blood rushing in my ears, as my heart pounds like a steam engine. I’m surprised Clover can't hear the thumping of my heart, I'm pretty sure it's filling the whole air. She does notice my awkwardness though.

“Lily,” she calls me, one eyebrow arching, “are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, I'm totally fine, nothing wrong with me,” I answer, flustered. Argh, it's no use just squirming around like this, I have to act! I don't want to wait around, looking for the “perfect timing.” I want to ask her out already, and be her boyfriend, and live happily ever after! …Or do I? Maybe I’m okay living like this? I mean, I am already by her side after all, I don't have to risk rejection… Wait, am I crazy, of course I don't want that! I want to be even closer with her, I can't satisfy myself with this. Okay, let's calm down, remember Clover’s favorite saying; I must, and I will, because I can. That's right. Let's go ahead and do this.

“Uh, so, yeah, Clover?”

“Hmm?”

“Actually, I have a question.”

“What is it?”

“So, you know, we’re pretty close and everything, so I was wondering if we, um, if you might consider, er, what I want to say is maybe we should…”

“Can you just, get on with it already?”

“Ah, sorry! What I want to say is, do you want to—”

“Hey, long time no see, guys!”

Huh? What was that? Whose voice is that?

“Did you guys miss me?”

We turn around to find someone smirking behind us. A guy. Jim. Jim Rogers, my childhood bully.

I’m surprised to suddenly have this encounter with Jim. I’ve never really seen him before, since elementary school. But I guess it’s not too unnatural. After all, he’s still living in the same neighborhood. I heard from Sheryl and Terry that he goes to the same high school as them. I also heard that he still pretty much acts like a jerk. 

“Oh, come on, guys, can’t you at least say hi to an old friend? I feel so unloved,” Jim says with a fake, almost mocking sad face. 

“Oh, hi Jim. I was just so surprised to suddenly meet you here. How have you been?” Clover replies, with an awkward smile. I don’t bother answering. Maybe Clover has forgotten how mean Jim was, but I certainly haven’t. 

“I’ve been doing fine, thank you. But man, I’m so glad to see you again! You’ve got no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“Oh, thanks Jim. That’s really sweet of you.”

“Okay, it was nice seeing you, Jim, but really, Clover and I have to get going, so we’ll just take our leave,” I interject. The less contact we have with Jim, the better.

“Hey, I just barely met her, okay? Let us talk for a little,” Jim says, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Geez, did you see that Clover? How he just interrupted us? He’s always been like that, getting in between us. Ever since elementary school.”

…Did he just say that?

“In fact, I’m not gonna let him get in between us anymore. Clover, I have something to tell you. Ever since elementary school, I’ve liked you. Will you go out with me?”

“…What?” Clover is taken aback. So am I.

“Hey, hold on a second!” I interrupt again, desperately. 

“No, you stay out of this. In fact, stay away from Clover. You’re not worthy to be around her. Clover, do you know how much of a bully this guy really is? Back in elementary school, he beat me up for no reason, so he got suspended for a week.” 

“What the? Jim, that is a blatant lie!” “Haha, there’s no way Lily could have done that!” Clover and I say at the same time. 

“It’s true! Ever since you left, Clover, he’s been showing his true colors, beating up kids and being a complete jerk! And he didn’t become any better now. In fact,” Jim flashes me a devious smile, “I heard he even made a girl cry recently…”

My face darkens. Is he talking about Iris? How did he know that…?

Clover notices my darkened face. “Lily, don’t tell me… is what Jim is saying… all of them true…?”

“No, Clover, it’s more complicated than that. It’s not what it sounds like…” but I can tell it sounds like a lame excuse. Crap, Jim has me in a trap. I have to explain myself. “Clover, listen to me—”

“No, stop, I don’t want to hear excuses!” Clover shouts, taking a few steps back. 

Jim is next to her, grinning like the devil. He looks bitter and exhilarated, like a crazy man exacting his revenge. “I’ll destroy you, just as you destroyed me, you wimp,” he murmurs under his breath. I snap. That does it. I can’t take his sick game anymore. 

“Jim, you piece of shit…!” I throw a blow to Jim’s face. He goes flying, tumbling on the ground. He gets up shakily, hand to his cheek. “Heh, resorting to violence again, huh?”

Clover screams in horror. “Lily, what are you doing? Stop!” But I can’t even hear Clover now. I am so blind and deaf with rage. All I want to do is beat up Jim so hard, he will never dare show his ugly mug in front of me again. 

I approach him, just to do that. Jim is not planning on being hit this time, though. He retaliates violently. For a few minutes, we go berserk, punching and kicking, grabbing at each other, rolling on the ground, screaming and grunting like wild animals.

Then, I hit something soft. 

I hit Clover. She jumped into the mayhem to stop us. She goes tumbling to the side, rolling a few times. She lies there twitching, groaning in pain. 

Horrified at what I have done, I immediately bolt to Clover’s side. “Clover, are you okay?” I ask worriedly. Behind me, the sound of footsteps grow further and further. Jim is running away. I am relieved that at least that trouble is taken care of.

“Lily…” Clover huffs out, face scrunched in pain. With effort, she manages to sit up. “I am so disappointed in you.”

“Clover, I’m so sorry, I just lost it…”

“No, no more excuses. I don’t want to hear them.” She looks away from me, eyes cold and icy. “I saw the true side of you…”

“Clover, please, I swear it’s not what it looks like—”

“I said, I don’t want to hear it!” Clover shouts angrily. She raises her hand, rather forcefully, and brings it down to knock my head, habitually. And I do something that I’ve never done before. 

I block her. 

Clover stares at my hand that is gripping her wrist. “You, you blocked me?” she says, disbelieving. “Lily, you’ve… changed. Or maybe this was your true self, all along. You’re so impulsive, and violent, and mean, and… and… I don’t even know you anymore.” She flicks her wrist out of my grip, and stands up shakily. “I hate you…” With those last stinging words stabbing my heart, she walks away shakily. And I just sit there, unable to move. 

I’m devastated. How did things come to this? Clover, how could you doubt me? I am confused and lost, not moving, not even thinking. Oh crap, what about the flowers? I hurriedly check the inside of my bag. I had placed the flowers inside carefully, so that they wouldn't be squished. But now, they were all crumpled and tattered beyond recognition. Just like my heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will Lily and Clover end up?

After a while of doing nothing, I regain my senses. It's already become dark. I wonder if Clover’s alright. Is she mad? I call Clover’s phone. It merely connects to voicemail. I disconnect in agitation. Clover, where are you? Are you okay? I have to sort all this mess out with Clover, today. I head to her house. 

I knock on her door and ring the bell and call out a few times, but there is no sign of anyone inside. Now I am seriously worried. Where is she? Why is she not home? What if she's in trouble? And, oh no. What if she met Jim again?

Panicking, I search the places that she is likely to be at: the park, the school, the cafes… Eventually, I reach our old elementary school. I jump over the closed gates and dash to the schoolyard. Please, let Clover be there, please, please… 

Thankfully, I find Clover, sitting on one of the roots of the tree we often hung out around. She is crying silently, tears streaming down her cheeks, looking lost and devastated. She doesn't even bother wiping her tears, she's letting it all out, as if wanting to wash away the pain.

She notices me approaching, though, and hurriedly wipes it away. “Go away,” she says, “I told you I don't like you.”

“Clover…”

“I don’t like it when you act tough and beat people… I liked you better back in elementary school. Even though you were a little shy, you were kind and courageous. Now you're just violent. And mean.”

“Clover, please, could you at least give me a chance to explain myself?”

Clover looks away. But at least she's not running away, so I start talking. “Okay, to tell the truth, I did beat up Jim and get suspended for a week.”

Clover's head snaps back at me, eyebrows arched. 

“But it was because Jim took my necklace, the one you gave me. He said I was girly, and fat, and wimpy… and that you left me because of that. I got so angry, I couldn't contain myself. I know it was a foolish move, but, you understand why I did that, right?”

Clover still seems unsatisfied, but at least her expressions are a little softened.

“And what about the girl? The one that cried?” 

“Yes, well, actually, I did make a girl cry. In fact, I made many girls cry. The thing is, they all asked to go out with me, and I tried to let them down as gently as possible, but… some of them cry.”

Clover just stares at me with disbelieving eyes. Then, her face cracks up, and she laughs out loud uncontrollably. For a few minutes, all there is is Clover’s laughter, as she clutches her stomach, and tears squeeze out of the corner of her eyes. “Hahahah! Oh my gosh, that’s how you made the girls cry?” She huffs a little painfully, trying to calm herself down. “Heheh, I didn't know you were so popular!” She takes deep breaths. She's finally calmed down. “So, you really are different from back then, after all.” She looks a little sad, perhaps nostalgic. Like she's missing something that she will never have again. She sighs heavily, and looks at me with clear eyes. “You silly, you had me so worried. I thought you...”

She doesn't bother finishing her sentence. It doesn't matter now. But she does raise her fist. I expect her to knock my head like always, but she does something else. She gently caresses my cheek a few times. “I won't hit you anymore. You're not the little brother who needs scolding and protection anymore,” she says.

“Is that how you've been seeing me up till now?” I ask, a little flabbergasted. 

“Yeah.”

“You… how could… but I…” I’m speechless. All that time and effort I spent to become strong and manly, for nothing. “I’ll change that thought of yours forever!”

I gently grab her shoulders, and push her against the tree. Clover is not struggling. My face approaches hers, she slowly closes her eyes, 

and we kiss.

When we separate, we are both glowing pink.

“Clover,” I call her. “Let me be the one protecting you from now on.”

“No!” 

Huh? No?

“I still want to protect you too.”

Oh, okay. So that’s what she means; she’s not rejecting me, thank god. She just killed the mood a bit, though.

“Okay then, let's both protect each other,” I compromise. “Deal?” 

“Deal.”

And I think you can imagine the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading up till now! I really appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is greatly appreciated!


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